What Women Mean... when they say...

Women, are difficult. They are at time to simple to understand and to complicated to predict. Here is what I came upon a friends facebook. 

Memorize these 9 phrases and what they really mean when girls say them. This could save your life!

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This isn’t actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ … that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

(8) Whatever: Is a women’s way of saying ____ YOU!

(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3

Disclaimer: Reading and smiling at it is at your own risk. Avoid discussing the source even if you want to share this with your wife or girl friend in good humor!! 

Rocky - We'll Miss You!!

Rocky June 1998 - Nov 2008 

It was my sister and Didibhai (grandmother) who bought a lil golden retriever to our lives in August 1998. I was then in Nagpur doing my engineering and was thrilled to know the news. I named it Rocky, rather Rocky 2 after my beloved first dog which was a mixed dash hound in origin. Rocky was a golden retriever, two months and very sweet. I met him when I came back home for Durga Puja in October.

Rocky came into our lives as a bundle of joy and over this 10 years he was great friend and great company to my parents back home, while I was in midst of shaping my career. My sister, who promised to own up all responsibility for Rocky to get him and finally manage to keep up to one promise of loving it and playing with it, other responsibilities were passed on to rest of the family, which was anyways expected. Since I was away, Didibhai, took up the responsibility of training him, Maa took care of his basic requirements and Dad got to play the role to leash him around for his walk. He must have cribbed every day he had to do so, but today I am sure he misses him like a son, who would take him for a walk to bring atleast some discipline in his walking habit.

Early days of Rocky were very memorable. He was good tempered, sweet looking, disciplined dog, who hardly barked at strangers or as a matter of fact anything. Our neighbors, inquisitively asked us one day “Is he dumb?, cos he hardly barks J We gave the credit to Didibhai, saying we have trained him well, so that he does not disturb your sleep ;-) But all said and done, he was well trained. No getting up on beds, sofa’s, No toilet in the house, No unnecessary tantrums.  He was saint, but very sharp.

I still remember, when my sister, urged Baba to buy her a pup, she sold a dream. She said, this breed of dogs can be well trained, and said, every morning, the dog shall get him his newspaper, help Maa with some daily chores, all picked up from hindi movies. A day came, when dad demanded these dreams to be met, and my sister conveniently appointed a trainer for Rocky. I got this news over phone, and said to myself, when I am in Calcutta next, it will be exciting to see a trained dog.

My dreams were shattered, when I sneaked in to Rocky’s tution class, which was at our terrace, without the knowledge of the trainer. To start with enthusiastic Rocky jumped around a bit and then paid attention to his trainer. “Rocky Speak” said the thundering voice of the trainer, which moved me, but not Rocky, he was in his own world of eyeing sparrows and crows on our terrace, one more time it came “Rocky Speak” and then a “Bow Bow” which the trainer did himself, probably to remind Rocky, that’s how he is supposed to bark.

The class got dismissed, so did the trainer and my dad accepted the harsh reality of life and said, all my kids (which included Rocky, my sis & me) were useless, and no teacher was good enough to teach us !! He lost hope and accepted that his dreams of getting the newspaper delivered by his dog, still remained a dream.

Years went by, and Rocky grew up, my sis got married and she went to her home, which already had 2 cute dogs, and my dad’s hope of sending rocky as a gift (dahej) was also not fulfilled. Rocky was very close to mom dad and Didibhai, may be more than me and my sis, his routine was set, he was very disciplined with Didibhai, playful with Baba & adored Maa. He would never drop without dad taking for a walk in the evening, and at times threw some tantrums to feed him personally by Maa, and always use to sleep in Didibhai’s room.

He was the company and a great friend for my parents and didibhai, probably brought the kiddies charm back in the house, now that me and my sister were not in Kolkata. He helped in keeping the spirits up and cheered our parents of not missing us as much. Dad played with him and if you would listen to Maa talking to him from a different room, it would never sound like a discussion between a human and a pet. What always amazed me was how did these pets learn a language? Rocky was spot on with Bengali and he understood every bit of it.

Rocky found fans and friends in the neighborhood. One of his favorites were my sister’s family, an ardent dog lover, were amongst his favorites, their dogs Tito & Liza, were his friends and I remember early days when we all went for a walk with 3 of them to give us company. Our relatives and friends all liked Rocky, not to forget my uncle from Lucknow, who always got sandesh and rosogolla, especially for Rocky.

His last days were painful and I fail to understand, why such beautiful creatures have such painful deaths. He died on 30^th Nov at 5.30 AM with my parents around him and it was an emotional moment to lose him. I am told, Rocky’s last journey to his burial was emotional, and people from our locality came across to convey their love and affection for this beautiful friend we lost.  

I pray that his soul Rests in Peace!!

Durga Puja - Nostalgia!!

Kolkata Pujo has always been an event by itself and specially our pujo at Lake Gardens East Association. Sadly this year I am missing it for a straight 3^rd time. Life today has become a trade off and for a person like me, who hate to trade of pujor chutti with anything else previously; is trading off with it today. Blame it on job commitment, laziness or the distance, there is actually no excuse for missing it.

Today, is Shoshti and in this afternoon, when I would have been in Kolkata, deciding what to wear and when to go to the pandal to have a glimse of Maa Durga, sit back in my Bangalore home, look out to the gloomy weather and write this nostalgic piece of revisiting Durga pujo back in Kolkata and specially our para pujo in Lakegardens.

For the convenience of people not knowing me, we donot stay in Lakegardens any more and that is since we left the place in the year 1985, our heart and mind still stays there during pujo. Lake Garden East Association pujo started way back in 1978, with a handful of people in the para. Unlike other community pujo in Kolkata, where stress is given to decoration, protima (idol) and competition, we are a class apart. In my own words I describe it as Ghorwa Pujo, where we resemble as One Big Family and theme of the pujo has been “Adda” “Cultural Program” & “Khaowa Dawa” with special care to safe guard the authenticity of the pujo, which more often gets diluted or becomes a mere obligation for most of the pujo.

The preparation of our pujo use to start a month and a half before, where all planning were done, and events laid out and execution started. I miss those childhood memories of “Reharsal” for plays, singing practice for Mahalaya, and all other co ordinations. The actual celebration started with Mahalaya, were we used to have “Probhat Phera”, men in Kurtas and women in traditional saree (red & white) sang all through the locality and welcome the goddesses Durga. And like all Bengali events food was an integral part, Luchi / Kachuri with Cholar Dal and Jelebi was a great take away for me as kid who got up at 5AM donned in white kurta to participate in the event with my not so pleasant signing voice. I am sure it was for most of us!! Talking about Mahalaya, it would have been incomplete without giving credits to 2 people I get reminded of Sukumar Jetu with his Khol, and Gautam Kaku with his Mandoline.

The pujo use to start with Shubho Shasthi, were we all assembled at the pandal and the Maa Durga was unveiled and established for pujo. As a child then, shosti was special, because we used to have Magic Show, which still continues with the same magician. Remember those days, when I was always the first person, to volunteer for being the helper of the magician. As I grew up, interest changed, and then Shasti was exciting because we use to decorate the idol at night with her Abhushan and Ashtra Shastra. This would run till late night and then wake up (mostly not sleep at all ) at 4AM to board the lorry to go for “Kola Bou Snaan” to the ganges. It was an exciting trip.

As kids, pujo was more of Gun fights with kids of adjoining complexes and neighborhood and collecting pocket money from elders to buy ammunitions for our toy pistols or sipping onto pepsi sticks and potato wafers. Childrens of Adhunika I remember were our biggest gun fight enemy, and we had a rocking time defeating them.

As we grew up Saptami Ashatami Nabami… were exciting in the day with the pujo, and the fasting we used to practice before the pushpanjali, then hogging on to junk food available with the neighboring grocery store better known as “Bikash da’r Dokan” and who can forget his levels of wisdom and analysis he used to part “free of cost” with every product purchased from his shop. The shop still remains, but he does not. We miss you Bikashda, and may your soul rest in peace.

Afternoon was “Khawa Dawa” the special bhog for all residents of the locality and their guests. Saptami was Khichuri, Beguni, Labrar Torkari, Chutney and Papad. Ashtami was special bhog. Pulao Bhog instead of khichuri. Nabomi, was non vegetarian, decades back, but now with people and inflation, it is Rice Dal Shukto Vegetable and Dhokar Dalna now!! I donot remember eating at home during these 5 days of pujo. I miss them and the taste still lingers leaving me salivated while I type these words.

Evenings of Pujo were a mostly cultural program. Saptami with girls and women of our locality performing, Ashtami, kids performing a play, I was a party to this during my childhood, and during this time we delivered some great plays and enacted some beautiful short stories like “Dakghar”, “Pagla Dasu” “Mahesh” etc which are still fresh in my mind. I still remember my last play I performed was “Sampatti Samarpan” in the lead role (which was negative though) back in the year 1990, I guess.

Ashatami was special at our pujo. Apart from the long pushpanjali’s & lavish pulao bhog, it was the sandhi pujo which attracted people more. Be it early in the morning, or during the day or late at night, I have never seen so many people and such a great way the pujo being conducted in any other pandals I have been too. The lightening of lamps and chanting of mantra, and speeding against time to complete the pujo within the stipulated time, was a spectacle.

Nabomi night was thrilling with late night antakshari, musical chair and lot more. We even went Pandal hopping and eating at stalls for free. The seniors use to foot the bill J

Most of the night was party time, and the definition of party on nabami night kept changing with age.  But I guess in midst of all of the changing parties I have had, the most memorable one’s were plain simple Adda, rather in Chondo Jetu’s word “Aaj Bichar Hoibo”

Dashami, was potluck. As children we went with parents for having lunch at a restaurant, as youngsters it was friends whom we went out with. When I started earning, I took my family and relatives for lunch. Lunch at a restaurant has today become a tradition and I guess so many of them still follow it. With stomach full and a short nap, came the time when we drew the curtains down, with Sindoor Khela and Bhashan, but for us the climax is still left, or should I steal a line “Picture abhi baki hai mere dost”

Sindoor khela is a spectacle and with naughty boys like us, lacing the festivity with a bit of "bhang" in ladoos or sharbot, made it more enjoyable. Those were the stories which would make our contributory dinner next night memorable. The moment of truth arrived when Maa Durga and her Children’s were loaded on the truck for bisorjon. Few mighty men and hundreds of suggestion made it possible to load the idols without damage. The trucks went through the locality with children young and old dancing to the dhak and specially organized kurkuri. We all danced till Jodhpur park, and then the trucks would go and come back with shantijol, when the entire para would come again to wish each other “Shubho Bijoya” and embrace with a promise to be back next year with more celebrations.

Every year this time, I feel so nostalgic and make a promise to be back in Kolkata to celebrate the pujo. At times we feel lets go back to Kolkata, have a good job, easy life with all near and dear ones and enjoy life to the fullest, lend a hand to this pujo, go back to the days of rehearsals, and these were serious thoughts, but with a the current political & industrial scenario, it becomes difficult to take a call. We hope this pujo, Maa Durga bless all who want to make our Bengal, back as “Sonar Bengal”, and Curse those who with their limited knowledge is leading  West Bengal to Waste Bengal.

Bolo Durga Mai ki Jai… 

Rock On!!!

Rock On is Bang On; a film on those little moments of life, which we say “Cherished Moments”. A great movie, well made, well though well positioned and well performed. We see Faran Akthar is a new genre of an Actor & Singer, and believe me is great and did a fantastic movie.

Rock On is a story of friendship and reliving ones dream. For those unfortunate ones who have not seen this movie, ROCK ON!! is the story of four friends Aditya, Joe, KD & Rob [Farhan Akhtar, Arjun Rampal, Purab Kohli, Luke Kenny] who put together the greatest band this country has ever seen, Magic, but never make it. Years later, fate conspires to bring them together again and set them on a journey back to where they left off... a soul-searching pilgrimage into their past

Rock On is a well made movie and it had surprised me a lot, from the time I knew about the movie from the promos to actually watching it. To be honest, I never really tracked this movie from its music launch, to promos, anything. The reasons, may be No great star cast, I know Frahan Akthar, was making a debut as an actor and singer, I may have felt, it was too much of self proclaimed movie, with shadow direction. I was proved wrong and was satisfied why this was made this way. It was again a movie, which was a team effort; an upcoming rock band should not have a singer whose voice should not sound “too professional”, music is great but it will catch up as you see the video. Performance of every actor was so natural, and Farhan stands out. Arjun is extraordinary and Purab, Prachi and Luke were good.

The film not only hits the right nerve of people, who get reminded of their school or college, when they were part of a band, or went to live shows, or performed, but to all who had a dream, but gave up to be someone else and lead a prosperous life. This film, probably brings back those memories, and rekindles the urge to “Relive those Dreams”. It reminded me of those “Air Guitar-ing” sessions in Rock Shows, practice pads of school bands, Bosco Beat; to get a pass I participated in the talent contest in school, my friend Soumik, who emerged in the rock scene after singing Bryan Adams “Heaven”, Robin, who mesmerized us with his guitar, my boss who was an ace drummer, in his golden days, today a director of an leading MNC. I wished, I could just push the rewind button of Life and relive those moments again.

I hope this journey of Rock On, continues and hope all of us remember and make an effort to relive our dreams within our lifetime…. 

Divine Intervention!!

Last week was an amazing week, with my parents in Bangalore; the house was full of happiness and blessings. We planned for some divine intervention, and planned a trip to Balaji Darshan.

Tirupati Devasthanam, is Venkateswara Temple is a famous Hindu temple of Lord Venkateswara located in the hill town Tirumala, Andhra Pradesh. The temple is located on the Venkatachalam hill that forms part of the seven hills of Tirumala and hence the temple is also known as the Temple of Seven Hills (Edukondalu in Telugu). The presiding deity of the temple, Lord Venkateswara is also known by other names - Balaji or Srinivasa.

This is one of the richest temples in Asia, and second in the world after the Vatican City and also second in terms of having the most number of pilgrims, approximately 60000, daily. The wealth accumulated by the Tirumala Trust, is from donations made at the temple. There is a mythological story behind the same.

Tirupati is located around 250KM from Bangalore, and we started at 5AM from our residence in south Bangalore. We hit the old madras road and drove around 70KM towards Kolar in Karnataka, are famous for its gold mines, the Kolar Gold Fields. The drive is pleasant, and the road is just perfect for a hitting, at least 75Kmph.

Straight down the same road we hit Chittor, which is arround 100KM from Kolar, and the road continues to be perfect. With some bhajans to start with, the drive was pretty comfortable. Before we hit Chittor, we had some quick wada sambar, at the road side eating joint. The sun was up and it was getting a little hot now. Before we hit Chittor, we found a diversion to Tirupati, and here we leave NH4 and get into the state highway.

The first few kilometer in the state highway was painful, (painful is an overrated, considering the road we came by), otherwise pretty motorable, and we finished the bypass, and paid a toll there. We traveled another 79KM, to reach Tirupati, and the road was awesome. I hit about 110kmph on my speedometer and covered all grounds which I lost during covering the bypass. With the clock striking 10AM, we were in Tirupati.

We had to go to Tirumala, which was 25 km up north on the Venkatachalam hill, complete ghat roads. Before hitting the ghats, we had to go through few security checks. The drive was smooth, only because, there were two roads, one to climb, and other to descent, thus no speeding vehicles, coming from the opposite direction in those hair-pin bends!!!

Tirumala devasthanam was ever crowded, with pilgrims of all class and creed. The poor and the rich all looks the same, with their tonsured heads, as it is a good amen of donating hair at the devasthanam. We saw people all over waiting in the queue for their turn, to have a fraction of a second darshan of Lord Venkateswara.

We had organized our special darshan through a banks staff, who took some time to organize the tickets and finally we entered the queue, at 12.30PM. The temple doors closed for a while for some seva, and we got stranded at one point for more than an hour. It was people packed in a box. No one left any void, no one felt for the other person’s comfort, the only mission everyone in the queue had was to have darshan; a darshan which lasted less than one could realize where the lord was, if he or she is a first time visitor at Tirupati.

I thought to myself, this was my 4^th trip, and I consider myself luck, as I and lot of other people who do pilgrimages, believe, that you never come to meet a deity, if he or she calls you or gives and appointment, you are bound to come. That’s true for my case, the first time I came, I was small kid, and only thing I remember about tirupati was a golden pillar, and the ghee overflowing laddoos, which is the main prasad at Tirupati.

I have stayed in Andhra Pradesh was 4 years, and so many time, I planned a trip to tirupati, and could never make it. When I shifted to Bangalore, I made 3 trips, and all of them unplanned, and I was merely a mediator to bring devotees to tirupati on HIS commands. First it was my friend’s brother who wanted to come, next my cousin and today my parents. I just agreed to accompany and was lucky to meet the divine all the 3 times.

The line finally moved, with a roaring chant of “Govinda”, and I came back to reality of pushing and taking care of my folks and guiding them the right way. In an hours time and lil more, we finally were inside the temple, and was blessed by Divine Intervention. For my last two visits, I have been in a trance when I entered the temple, neither could ask for anything nor could see him properly. I could never explained, what I saw, and what I felt. This time, I was determined to see HIM, and did not have any plans for asking. I just thanked HIM, and asked for HIS blessings. I saw HIM!!

With the lady scouts pushing you to clear the bay, my eyes stuck on HIM and I could still visualize HIM which is beyond any definition. We were literally pushed out of the temple, and we came out to make our contributions to the sacred Hundi. People get into a trance seeing HIM, and I have seen people donating everything in this Hundi. The reason, being, it is said that Lord Venkateswara, took some loan to get married, from Kuber, which he is still repaying. Thus all devotees come and make contributions, in tens hundreds, thousands lakhs and millions, to help the lord repay. It is believed, that for so many years, the lord is still paying the interest.

We also made our contribution, and also for all who asked us to make one. When we came out of the temple it was 3.30PM, our schedules had gone haywire, because of the delay in the queue, and we skipped lunch and rushed back towards Bangalore.

On the way back, we picked up some packed juice and wafers to keep our stomachs full, and I drove to cover maximum, till we had daylight. It was a tiring, drive, and the maximum I ever drove in a single day, with almost 3 hours driving in dark, on a national highway. I got a pat on my back from my parents, as we safely reached home at around 10.30 at night. A long day, 580KM of driving, 3 hours of darshan queue, 3 hours of night driving on highway, it was a worthy divine intervention, it adds to some of my best traveling experiences ever.